Thanksgiving Top 5 Lows

“Difficulty is inevitable. Drama is a choice.”
― Anita Renfroe

It is only fitting that I wrap up our Thanksgiving memories by commemorating the Top 5 Lows of the day.

  1. Halfway through roasting the turkey, we noticed the oven wasn’t working. As we frantically punched the buttons and repeatedly opened and closed the door (because this really helps), we realized we were screwed. After much head scratching and uncensored cursing, Chef Gabe suggested we crank it up to its highest setting – 600 degrees. Miraculously, the oven heat skyrocketed to approximately 200 degrees which is better than 0. So that, and some selective microwaving, gave us an edible bird by the time dinner rolled around at 7:30.
  2. Once we confidently averted the botulism crisis and were joyfully going about setting the table, we heard a loud crash in the kitchen. Lo and behold, our undermount 500 pound kitchen sink had unglued/detached/given up, and fallen to the bottom of the cabinet. I screamed asked the boys to find a fix for this dilemma and pronto. An hour later they returned with four car jacks from Walmart, and set about rigging elevating the sink to a semblance of its natural position under the counter. Chef Gabe was just bursting problem-solving skills.
  3. Still undeterred and ever hopeful for a pleasant Thanksgiving, I told Ramon to fire up the barbecue in order to warm up the side dishes since clearly the turkey was going to take the full expected 18 hours to cook. Seconds into the process, the gas ran out. Off goes Ramon to the store for another tank of gas.
  4. Upon arrival, my sister’s family joyfully started bringing in her delectable contributions, including baked goods (among them my most favorite Raspberry Almond Bars), roasted Brussels Sprouts and myriad libations which might lessen the pissiness heaviness in my heart. Unfortunately, my brother-in-law dropped the bottles in our driveway and this party was destined to be as dry as a Baptist church during Summer revival.
  5. And as we cleared the tables, stored the left-overs and loaded up the dishwasher, we beamed thankfully for another successful holiday – despite the odds. It wasn’t until I awoke Friday morning to empty the dishwasher, that I realized everything was still dirty. The damn thing was busted. Done. Finished.

I can’t wait for this year to be over.

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